Wouldn't choose it as an alarm clock

Dear muslim neighbour,

I respect the cultural diversity you bring to my apartment block. I also have no doubt that you are a devout muslim, since I often hear you praying and singing. Did you know that you are LOUD? I must stress that I am not anti-muslim because I have two whole muslim friends and one muslim acquaintance. That’s pretty good when you live in Finland. But I am a heretic agnost who doesn’t need to wake up at dawn. On that note, perhaps you could follow dawn in Mecca or something? Dawn here is something ridiculous like 4 or 5am and you wouldn’t want to follow a Lutheran dawn, would you?

Thanks in advance for your cooperation,

Stacy
(your downstairs neighbour)

(Not the one who raps or practises kendo)


To sum up, my morning started like this:
So I got up. I wandered aimlessly around simultaneously wanting to go back to bed but knowing sleep as I knew it would be unattainable. I decided breakfast would be good, but got distracted by the newspaper on the way to my cupboard. When I saw the newspaper I thought "Heh, the postman must have been in a bad mood, he's ravaged my paper", but then I SAW it. I think this is one of those "When you see it, you'll shit bricks" moments.
You're welcome for the advertising, vepsäläinen.