An open letter to Blink-182

Attention please. Today I am posting on a matter of utmost importance. Blink-182, I totally need your autographs. Since people probably want your autographs all the time I have decided to argue my case with bulletpoints and crappy art.

1) (mostly to Tom and and on behalf of the 11 year old me) Marriage is kind of out of the question now, huh? Considering we're both either married or engaged, the space between continents, timezones and pretty much everything else, I suppose it's for the best. An autograph will do.

2) I first heard Blink-182 in 1999 and immediately became a fan. I would probably have liked Blink's previous stuff but I was 11 and I was going through that "I love horses way more than boys and music" phase and I had to get that out of my system first. In any case I still bought Buddha and Cheshire cat because I was a fucking dedicated 11 year old and wasn't in it just for All The Small Things.

3) I'm 23 (so no-one likes me anyway) and run my own business but I still listen to songs about aliens and masturbation loudly and without shame.


4) I have faithfully followed your advice in important matters. I have never, for example, drunk dog semen as advised on the Mark Tom and Travis Show. My breath is minty fresh and my dog is not traumatised.

5) You ignore Funland Finland :( I know that it was me who moved here and therefore the blame cannot entirely be pinned on you, but could you possibly come to Helsinki? Even Sweden would do. You can tell which one is Finland because there's a well-known joke that Norway and Sweden resemble a flaccid penis whereas Finland is, quite obviously the ballsack of Scandinavia.



6) I'm willing to try to convince Finland that Tom's surname corresponds to his genitals.

7) I'm originally from England and I have heard that Americans sometimes like the English accent. If you like the English accent I can phone you and tell you the time, weather, or a dirty joke whenever you want.

As I now believe that my argument is watertight, I will wait for you guys to get in contact to post me my autographs.

Lots of love,
Stacy

Life goals - less than in football

When I was in school, we had to have goals set for every lesson. We had to cover a chapter in a book or understand a particular reaction in chemistry. I don’t know who invented it, but it was more than enough overkill and since then I’ve ignored goals as being trivial and easy to attain – therefore not really goals.

Some people, however, apparently could not get enough of the rabid goalsetting of the school system and actually apply goals to their own lives. Others even stick to them and achieve them.

Goals may be, for example:

Climbing Everest

Swimming the channel:

Becoming famous and/or a millionaire (and owning a small, loud handbag accessory):


Generally as a rule, I don’t make such commitments anymore. My first and only life goal was decided upon at the tender age of 11 after hearing a midi on mIRC of ”All the small things” by Blink-182 and declaring them to be my favourite band. I decided immediately that if I ever do anything in life, it will be to see Blink-182 live.

When they split up in 2005 I not only gave up hope of seeing my favourite band evar but I also rejected life goals as being shitty and unrealistic. I decided never to strive for anything in such a manner ever again. After all, had they not split up, I would have had a far better chance of reaching that goal. It’s not even like my goal was shat upon due to my own laziness or neglect.
Luckily, Blink-182 have got back together which has instilled a kind of fan-girl excitement which seems to have ignored the 5 year hiatus and just carried on from what it was like when I was 16. It is AWFUL, you guys. I dug out all my blink stuff and admired it lovingly. I listened to ALL the albums and watched the Urethra chronicles. I watched interviews, read blogs, and spent yesterday on google maps looking at Poway where Blink-182 was formed. I even bought a pair of
vegan Macbeth shoes. Macbeth was formed by two of the guys from Blink-182. But whatever, they went on a hiatus and left me without an outlet to do all this shit and act like a teenager right when I’m trying to graduate and start a business. I blame them.

Here's a picture I drew before their hiatus.

So, as I said. I don’t make LIFE goals anymore. I do, however, keep a small list of things I wouldn’t mind doing:

1) The blink-182 concert is still my priority.

2) Touch a bald person’s head. Perhaps get permission first.

3) Run 5km (may or may not be attained on Thursday).

4) Achieve moderate internet fame (I’m still on elementary internet
fame).

5) Live in the same municipality as my boyfriend.

6) Order a whole cake and take it home and eat it for no good reason other than that I’m an adult and I CAN.

A series of updates:

- I can (and did!) vote in the general elections, despite the forms getting messed up in yet another epic bout of bureaucracy fail.

- The bottle of carbonated orange drink has GONE, you guys. I don’t know where it is, but I doubt it fulfilled its destiny as a refreshing beverage :( The eggs are also gone, but made it a record FOUR months on the table. Christmas calendar disappeared around the same time.

- I got all my stuff from Oulu. The universe is still okay. You can go back to what you were doing now.

- Jukka’s computers DO all have fans.

- Not technically an update, but look at this cactus. It sprouted this new growth after a year or so of being inert. It’s done that in about 4 months.
I think it may have hit puberty. *snortgiggle*.